Announcing the Winners of the 2024 Medical Motherhood Games!
Marvel in wonder as these elite performers dominate their chosen events.
All eyes to the podium! It’s time for the medal ceremony in the first annual Medical Motherhood Games. This is the only place you’ll find this rollercoaster of dramatic, show-stopping finishes in the highest stakes events on Planet Earth.
All of our entries showcased the power, persistence and superhuman care abilities of medical parents. I have randomized the entries and will be sending emails out to winners with their prize details in the next week. (Eleven of the entries below will receive a prize.) Thank you to everyone who entered the only games where you invent the event you win! In no particular order, here are some of my favorites:
Lillieth Grand of Oregon won the Hold the Umbrella Over Your Kid in a Wheelchair While Pushing and Popping a Wheelie To Get Up The Curb event. This feat takes an incredible display of balance, strength and coordination!
Toby Lunstad of North Dakota is a gold medalist in Staying Out of the Hospital by Pushing 10mL of Pedialyte Every Five Minutes All Day Long. Contenders really have to have stamina to go the distance in this death-defying event!
Theresa Jahangir of Oregon has sailed to victory five years running in the Wake Up to Nighttime Medical Alarms Every Night event. Her performance is truly a testament to endurance and resilience under the cover of darkness!
Arden Bryce of Oregon is a decorated multi-medalist in several events including: The Provider Persuasion Pentathlon, in which she secures the best resources and activities for her daughter; the Calming Chaos in Crowded Places 5000, in which she uses her elite sensory-shielding skills; and the Shopping Cart Charioteer Races, in which she pushes both a wheelchair and a shopping cart while simultaneously managing meltdowns and detailing purchases. This is a true titan of talent and marvel of the games!
Cathy Stevens of South Carolina triumphed in the Five Minute Diaper Change in the Trunk of a Minivan in a Parking Garage. This event requires lightning-fast reflexes, a passion for privacy and the unparalleled courage to get the job done!
Oriana Horneck of Oregon dominated the 40-Minute Hustle from Bed to School Bus. Challengers didn’t stand a chance as this maven of speed and precision crossed the finish line!
Paula Connolly of Iowa is elite-level in her event of Trust Your Gut, the decathlon of weighing advice from medical or other professionals. Even when providers barely acknowledged her child’s existence, she took top billing with an expertly executed “no” when pressured. A master class of parental intuition and nerves of steel!
Shanna Brownstein of Oregon took home the gold in Middle of the Night G-Tube Pump Troubleshooting with the triple crown of Bed Linen, Pajama Change and Hair Wash to remove the spilled formula from hair. An unyielding champion of the craft!
Jeanette Martinez-Lewis of Oregon left the field in the dust with Balancing the Thin Line Between Suctioning Phlegm Out of the Back of a Throat and Inducing Vomit. Not many can match this virtuoso in the high-stakes balancing act this event requires!
Danae of Colorado clinched the victory in Diaper Curling, the skillful navigation of a poosplosion minefield where each square centimeter is cleaned with unwavering focus and expertise into the confines of the diaper. Truly an artist of hygiene under pressure!
Donna Willoughby of Idaho is at the top of the podium in the Beach Wheelchair Hurdles. She has navigated the choppy waters of advocacy to bring accessibility to her local rivers. A magnificent testament to the power of one woman’s dream and the boundless potential of a caring community!
Jess Phillips Lorenz of New York conquered The LTFU/IV IGG BMT MSKCC Scheduling Shuffle. (Of course, this stands for The Long Term Follow Up/Intravenous Immunoglobulin G Bone Marrow Transplant Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center Scheduling Shuffle.) It's a battle of logistics and coordination like no other, where precision and efficiency reign supreme!
Calli Ross of Oregon sailed to victory in the Fed the Bed Gymnastics. Ross’ agility and skill earned her the Best Tumbler through sheet-change, child-change and ceiling-wiper events. It's a performance that leaves spectators in awe, a perfect balance of athleticism and parental prowess!
Denie Sidney of Florida sealed the win in the G-Tube Vomit Prevention Dash, posting the best time in connecting her kid’s g-tube into a 60 cc syringe to vent the stomach and prevent a vomit volcano. Her swift actions and unwavering focus showcase the epitome of instinct and preparedness!
Beth Leverich of Oregon captured the gold in Late-Night Sprint to the Pharmacy. This event is a marvel of speed and skill with a route that includes an out-of-stock pharmacy, followed by high-drama pleading through the closed shutters of a pharmacy two minutes after closing, and finally: victory at the last stop where the very last box of medicine was found and awarded to the pajama-wearing, bra-less contestant minutes before closing time. What an adrenaline-fueled sprint and heart-stopping finish from this Queen of Speed!
Alicia Ibaraki of Oregon rounds out our winners with the 400-Meter Convince Your Insurance To Provide an Expensive-But-Critical Piece of Equipment Hurdles. It's a race against the clock — and against the odds — but this mama simply will not be put off her game!
And there we have it, folks, your 2024 Medical Motherhood Games champions! To all the mamas, papas, caregivers, kids and fans who have made these events possible, we salute you.
That’s all we have time for today. The news round up will return next week. Until then: Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there! You are the true stars!
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Thank you for understanding and celebrating our humor during some rough situations. This was the perfect post for Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all Moms, especially Medical Moms!